Food and holidays go hand-in-hand. Thanksgiving turkeys with all the fixings. Great-Grandma’s favorite recipes at Hanukkah and Christmas. The symbolic components of a Passover seder… you get the idea. As allergy families, the same warm traditions others welcome add an extra layer of preparation and anxiety as we adapt meals, dodge events, and make other accommodations to keep our allergic loved ones safe. When it comes to the biggest seasonal stretch of food-related holiday obstacles to work through, Halloween kicks things off.
Pre-Game Planning
Food allergies shouldn’t preclude you from traditions – even the ones that are centered on food. You do, however, need a plan. A good plan starts with early preparation. Halloween may be a month away as you read this, but that doesn’t mean it’s too early to start preparing for it. Nor, by the way, is it too soon to start considering what adaptations you might make at Thanksgiving or into December’s full swing of the holiday season.
As you start to consider what accommodations and adaptations your family might need to make, consider the tips found here Allergy-Friendly Halloween. Also, while you’re at it, learn about the Teal Pumpkin Project.
Mindset Matters
There is a fine line between fear and respect when it comes to food allergies. Respecting your allergies may look like taking proper precautions that allow your child to still participate in the celebrations and traditions of your community’s Halloween festivities. It’s recognizing that yes, your allergic child can go to that trunk-or-treat event or even door-to-door trick or treating. You just need to do a little leg work ahead of time to help her figure out what safe treats to look for when given a choice.
Maybe you have a stash of safe treats already picked out at home that your child can swap non-allergy-friendly treats for after the fact. Maybe you’ve already talked about a charitable organization that you can donate excess candy she can’t eat. Sure, you may decide some events and traditions are something you’re not invested enough in and those will be easier to just skip. However, being allergic doesn’t mean you have to stay home and skip the fun if you don’t want to.
Make New Traditions
Generally, when we think of traditions, we think about things that have been passed on from generation to generation. It’s digging out that recipe for raisin bread that your grandfather always made every December and then cutting off a thick slice to toast and smearing on a chunk of soft butter for breakfast on Christmas morning. It’s using the menorah that was passed down through your family – the one your great-great-grandparents purchased the first year of their marriage that was given to you the first year of yours. Traditions are things that are established and fixed. And yet, traditions all started somewhere. Start a new one.
Is part of your game plan for Halloween limited to the number of houses you visit? Let your kids invite a few friends over for an allergy-friendly meal set with a menu of your child’s favorites. Play some holiday-themed games and then do a lap up and down your street to your immediate neighbors. Do it again the next year… and the next.
The same approach applies to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s and other holidays. Adapt the long-held traditions you love. Recognize there are some you may not be able to incorporate and it’s okay to skip them. Create new traditions to pass on to future generations that are accommodating and adaptable.
Keep the Focus
Why do we do the things we do to celebrate certain days and milestones? We aren’t, after all, trick-or-treating just to get the fun-sized Snickers bar or the rare find of a full-sized candy bar from everyone’s favorite neighbor. The fun is getting dressed up and being something (or someone) else for a while. The joy is the time spent together, laughing and dashing around the neighborhood with our friends.
If your trick-or-treat session ends by trading candy that your allergic child can’t eat for the cache of treats he can, then so be it. It doesn’t change the part that is really special. Focus on the fun. Enjoy helping him find or make the best costume. Enjoy the time with friends and neighbors. Laugh a lot. Take photos. Focus on the part that matters.
