Listen, if you approach the holidays with a mix of excitement and dread, you’re not alone; Even without factoring in having to manage food allergies during all the hustle and bustle, the holidays can be a lot. This final stretch of the calendar year is filled with fun and frivolity. It’s also filled with fuss and frustration. Oh, and a whole lot of food.
Regardless of your cultural or religious background, food is often at the center of traditional holiday celebrations. There are traditional dishes from Hanukkah latkes to Christmas ham and sweets like chocolate gelt and platters overflowing with a variety of cookies. When you’re managing food allergies, these particular aspects of the holiday can add an extra layer of overwhelm and worry.
You’re starting to feel the tension build at the nape of your neck, aren’t you? Take a deep breath because these tips can help you slow down and enjoy the holiday season (even if you aren’t juggling food allergies!).
It's Okay to Say No
Just because someone invited you to a celebration of some sort, doesn’t mean you need to attend. It’s okay to pass on activities. Maybe the neighborhood cookie exchange isn’t the right activity for your family that juggles wheat, dairy, and egg allergies. You can say no. Maybe that the invite to the fourth White Elephant in the span of 2 weeks is just one more cheesy fun gift than you can muster. You can say no. Maybe the offer to catch a local theater production of the Nutcracker is falling on the same night as your company holiday gathering – go ahead and pass on one of them without guilt.
Enjoy the holiday season by saying yes to the things you want to embrace and no to the things you can do without. Oh, and by the way, you also don’t have to give a big long explanation as to why you’re passing on an activity. You’re good with something simple like, “Thank you for thinking of me. I’m not going to be able to make it, but I do appreciate the invite. Happy holidays!”
It's Okay to Make Changes
Maybe your family has a love-hate relationship with the long-held tradition of trekking out to a particular ski lodge for a weekend of snowy fun. It’s not that you don’t enjoy the time together. It’s that the lodge isn’t the best at accommodating your dietary needs. It’s that your budget is a bit tighter. Or maybe it’s just that this is going to take more time than you feel comfortable sparing at the moment with a full schedule at home and work. Or maybe you just don’t really enjoy the skiing part all that much.
Whatever it is, just because it’s a thing that you’ve done over the years doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it the same way. Pitch an alternative. Maybe it’s an afternoon of ice skating at a local rink with (allergy-friendly) hot chocolate and treats afterwards to warm yourself up from the inside out. Maybe it’s a day to a closer resort that you can pull off as a day trip with your lunch packed in a cooler in the car. Maybe it’s something altogether different.
Just because “we always have” doesn’t mean you “always must.” Focus on what makes those moments special. It’s not really the slopes or that particular space. It’s really about the people you’re with, and taking a moment to break free from the usual day-to-day demands to enjoy the time together.
It's Okay to Make New Traditions
Sometimes the things we cling to as tradition are specific to our family. We bake a certain dish at a certain time around the holidays because it’s what our dad learned from his mom who learned it from her mom who learned it from her great grandmother. We hang a certain set of ornaments or use a particular menorah because it’s been passed down from generation to generation like a beautiful golden thread that connects us today to those that came before us. This connection is beautiful and it can feel sacred, but it doesn’t have to be set in stone.
That dish your dad taught you to make contains your son’s allergens. Your great aunt’s semi-famous cookie recipe is laden with things your daughter can’t have. Yet, a few simple adaptations to those recipes means you can maintain the intent of each dish while making them safer for your family.
Maybe, on the other hand, the adaptation isn’t possible. The Feast of Seven Fishes is a tough one to adapt for the fish- and shellfish-allergic folk in your family. It’s okay to skip it without guilt. It’s okay to swap out this classic with a new sort of feast that accommodates your family’s dietary needs. It may not feel like it at first, but the food was never the real center of these traditions. It was always about the people we shared it with.
