and sometimes it feels like the ride of a lifetime. This last week has been full of lessons and love. My son had his first real fever and had to be sent home from daycare. I had to drop everything I was doing and spend two days with him at home and then my husband had to take a day off from his job and help us out on the third day. This currently work-from-home Mom is moving back into a regular outside office next week with yet another full time career path. Needless to say this was a very interesting situation as this was my last week to make sure that everything was taken care of before I head back into the realm of Corporate America and the vision of the Executive Mom.
I decided to enjoy the time I was spending with my son and reminded myself as we took his morning nap together that these are precious experiences that will not be relived and I might as well treasure every one of these moments that I can spend with my son. As a slightly older Mom I certainly waited long enough and worked hard enough to have a wonderful and loving family and that is the most important part of who I have become at the moment - the preparations for work could wait for one more day.
The good news is that after several frightened runs to the Doctor and purchasing two new thermometers, my son is just fine. The slight fever has been gone for more than 48 hours and we are seeing him return to his normal happy and laughing self. We are not sure what caused the fever and grateful that the doctor found no signs of anything serious. I can say however that maybe for the first time in my life I truly used my Mother instinct and trusted that I knew better than my thermometer and according to the doctor I was right. My son felt warmer to me than the reading on the thermometer and that was our first trip to the doctor. Unfortunately the second thermometer we purchased showed a much higher reading than reality and that was our second scary visit to the doctor.
Why is Motherhood a journey and not a destination? This is what crossed my mind all week as I was taking care of my family. We work hard as women in the world today. We not only take care of ourselves and our families in the home; we take care of them by providing a second income for the household as well. Now, for some of us older Moms this is born out of being career women first and only later finding the love of our lives and bringing children into our family mix. As career women we aim toward goals in life with the first being a good self-supporting career and next we decide to find love and move toward marriage. We get there and each time we breathe a sigh of relief and then move onto the next project or goal, which in many cases is to have children one way or another. For some of us this can be a challenge and so this becomes another goal.
The truth on this side of Motherhood is that the journey toward Motherhood never actually ends with a final destination. Sure, one day you are finally holding a beautiful child in your arms and they are trusting that you will take care of them. But, it doesn’t stop there. Motherhood is also a way of being, a way of thinking, a way of living. It is a constant sorting through internal and external thoughts and balancing what needs to be done. You are never quite finished and there is always something else calling to be handled as only a Mother can.
Each day is a wonderful and lovely surprise of thoughts, feelings and body sensations and while it doesn’t always feel wonderful, I would not trade any of these for a final destination. I am looking forward to the continuation of this journey and to the continuation of my personal growth throughout.
How is your journey going?