Life is full of milestones to celebrate. From births to birthdays, graduations, weddings, and all sorts of stuff in between, we may mark these special moments by gathering family and friends around us. There’s often cake, balloons and gifts involved. Sometimes there’s a full meal. That means, of course, that for individuals living with food allergies, celebrations come with an added layer of preparation to ensure the joyous occasions aren’t dangerous occasions for us.
This is the key – managing life with food restrictions does not mean we can’t attend that birthday party or throw the graduation bash. It does mean we need to do a little pre-celebration planning to make sure we can attend safely.
RSVP with Questions
Perhaps the courtesy of honoring the “RSVP” is a dying art, and it’s a shame. But we want to look at this from the perspective of a family living with food allergies. Honoring the RSVP request means you have the perfect opportunity to connect with the host and ask a few questions that will help keep you or your child safe.
Was your son invited to attend a preschool friend’s 5th birthday party at the local bowling alley? Has your daughter been invited to a quinceañera? If they’re going to attend those fetes, reach out to the host to affirm attendance. While you’re on the call (or text or email), ask about what food will be served. “While I have you, my child has food allergies. Do you mind if I ask about the food that will be served? I’d like to have an idea before we come so we can plan accordingly.”
Have a Food Plan
If you’re not comfortable with the food that will be served, you have options. Sure, one of them is “we just can’t make it.” In some cases, that may be the only option. It might not be feasible to safely include your food-allergic child at a party hosted by a local kid-friendly cooking school.
On the other hand, there may be other instances where you can bring your own food or simply eat before/after the event and skip the meal portion altogether. Your son could participate in several rounds of bowling at that party and then leave when the group transitions to the pizza and cake portion. You could join your friends at the baby shower and bring along a safe lunch and/or treat as a fallback option.
Pack the Autoinjector
Yes. No matter where you go, party or not, your autoinjector of epinephrine should be in easy reach at all times. When you’re in an environment where you have less control over the food that will be consumed – even if you aren’t the one eating it – it is especially important to have ready access to your medication.
The people with you should also be aware of where your autoinjector is and how to use it. If you’re taking proper precautions and being aware of your surroundings, you will likely not need it. However, it is always paramount to have it just in case. Seconds matter.
Remember the Other Things
When we think about avoiding our allergens, the cake, the sandwiches, and those cute little pigs-in-a-blanket are all top of our mind. We think to ask about ingredients in those things. We think about having alternatives for them if appropriate. We may not, however, be thinking about the mixed drink at the open bar of our brother’s wedding or the fancy coffee offered at the bridal shower or the lotions and masks applied during the kid-friendly manicure at the dress-up party.
And yet, any of those things can present their own risk to allergic individuals. A mai-tai may contain orgeat syrup which is made from almonds. That spiked coffee has Frangelico in it which could contain hazelnuts. That sweet smelling cream the spa tech wants to use on your little princess’ hands contains milk and sweet almond oil. If there is something to consume or apply, ask about ingredients. If you can’t tell for sure that something is free of the allergens you’re avoiding, pass on it.
Have Fun
Above all else, have fun. Food is part of our celebrations but it’s not the whole celebration. Focus on those elements. The dancing. The laughing. The storytelling. The games. The gifts to be opened. The chance to catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while. Eat food you bring with you. Eat before you go. Eat after you leave. Leave early. Come late. Just don’t assume you can’t participate in celebrating the people you love and their special moments.
